What is contempt in a relationship?

Contempt in a relationship refers to feeling or expressing a lack of respect, dislike, or disdain towards one's partner. It often involves belittling, mocking, insulting, or showing a superior attitude towards the other person. Contempt can be damaging to a relationship as it erodes trust, communication, and intimacy between partners.

Contempt is one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as identified by relationship expert John Gottman. The presence of contempt in a relationship is a strong predictor of divorce or relationship failure. It can be toxic and destructive, leading to feelings of resentment, anger, and hurt.

Contempt can stem from unresolved conflicts, differences in values or beliefs, unmet needs, or poor communication. It is important for partners to address and work through feelings of contempt in a relationship in order to rebuild trust, respect, and connection. This may involve seeking therapy, practicing empathy and active listening, and working towards repairing the relationship.